Its been a while , A year actually that she's been gone .Ever wonder how this heart had rejoice ? I first saw her on my college days - simple snow-white skin , big ocean deep eyes and clumsy watery lips got me looking . The best love story aren't yet made they are yet to be feel . I don't know what rush inside my heart but every beat was curious as I was . Slowly she vanish in the crowd . I vividly remember the day when she had asked my hand , I was numb . As on the other side I was contained . 
I know the risk of being as huge part of someone's life . But I took it gracefully . She is the biggest prize and proud I have ever earned . 
I couldn't see her at airport. I knew her big black eyes were wet , I knew that fluffy foolish heart was wating to get a glimpse of my dumb face . I knew that smile was replaced and slowly the hope of seeing me too . 
A plane flew over my ceiling creating a deep echo inside my heart. My ear drum prolong the sound and mind flashes her image. From now I could feel the lonelyness in the air . My knee were weak . My body weight was against them .Finally I crashed down, tears of sorrow roll throw my eyes and that was the first time I cried for her .A love needs trust and trust need us .
For a second and two the risk of not being with her was more than risk of losing her forever . Yet I realized How can let go of something that I was dying to have? . And sometimes the heart sees what is invisible
to the eye. 
At age of 18 there are plenty around you but I want to be with her upto my infinite 88. Heart is little stubborn you know . Despite everything life throws at us , I been glued to her . Like a little magnet refusing the iron .
The air is changing , It touches my skin and sensation aries .I been wating like soil desperate of a rain in hot summer day .
Let's me be with her and I shall grab that hand tight- roam around. I shall capture that smile and hide it from the world . Now I shall rejoice in her company ..... I shall

A LETTER TO LOVE .

Dear Maya,

 I did not want these things to be like this. Things to go this wrong. Things to reach beyond our expectations. Things to destroy the every beam of hope and faith we had. Things to break us apart. It was an extraordinary 3 years. A years of cocktail- a cocktail of, love , care , belovedness, pain and everlasting effort to be with each other. A year packed with things, drama and feelings that exceeds my writing abilities to describe it. It’s not just a story about two … it’s a story about hearts. I first saw you in my college days. A shy creature a pretty one that grabbed my eyes like a two years old gazing at his candy bar. I don’t know what triggered but there was a bolt running through my nerves to my heart making my pulses go numb. You had those perfectly shaped face with big deep eyes hiding an ocean of secrets and an ideal nose. Your big moist lips were enough to attract mine. And your braced smile was a kick start of something truly beautiful. It has always been you and your Choice. You came to my life, grabbed my hand even though I was afraid. It was your choice that you loved me, showed me how beautiful the thing 'Love ' is, and showed how a person can changed from a cook to a gentleman. I know the risk of being as huge part of someone's life. But I took it gracefully. You were always biggest prize and proud I have ever earned. Then you went aboard. Yes it was your choice too. I didn't liked it. You being away. I don't know how it felt but it was awful. I was hopeless that time. I knew this would not work .But yet it did. I did everything to be with you and you did the same. For two years every effort was to be with each other. Staying far or away don't build relationship. It’s the link of heart and everlasting effort to be with one another. I respected and agreed every choice you made. Even though some of them tore me apart. But now why all this? Why are you trapped inside a situational void you yourself created? Why are you sitting there ignoring everything and making predictions about future?" We will not be together"- dear my dear future are not predicted they are made. Your grace left me bewildered and your beauty amazed me. You are beautiful but not like those girls in the magazines. You are beautiful for the way you thought. At your urgent time of need I couldn't be there. I am sorry goru, but I don't agree on this. Agree on to destroy everything we ever worked for. Agree in living without you. Agree to dissolve those memories. Agree on to give up on a future a dearly dreamt with you. Sorry I cannot. Please let me. Please don't ignore. Please have faith and hope again. Please be my Goru again. Let me free you let me grab those hand again, let me kiss those lips again and let us build a future once which we were desperate to build. Remember, for it is the beginning of always a promise. A belief in each other and the possibility of love. A decision to ignore, simply rise above the pain of the past.

 I love you. I shall always do .

The great unholy mess.

"The building beside us crumbled, the road began to dance on its way and we were trapped in the four corners of Shaking Thame l”.

"Weather's so lame today. A good day to spend on a bed “I murmured myself. It was not such day for a delightful visit but I had to go out. The sky that day was painted in black and cloud carrying waters we not sure for how long they could hold it. There was a bitter feeling in the stomach as I left house plodding towards the destination. After a few couple hours I met a buddy of mine down the Dharahara. As the sun was not so harsh that day so we decide to get lost for a moment and found ourselves in the alley of Naya bazar. We were not sure where we heading then we came to the corners of Thamel. We had walked many kilometer and we were drained. Then it starts. Suddenly there was a moment down the pitch black topping of the road. Like those in Marvel movies. The road began to dance on its own way and bond between the foot and road had gone. We all have fallen down and there was screaming all around. In fraction of second people began to gather. Fear was now not a strange thing. Our minds were gone blank and only thing that was bugging my mind was run away. We ran like in Olympics and scream to everyone let’s get down the road. We made it too the road but the scene was brazier there. Dozens of bike were lying on the road. People were rushing to their phone to contact their loved one. We had tried it but sorry no connection. We walked down the road informing all to walk by the middle of the road in case if the wall falls down it will not get you. We walked down the old durbar high school. The scene there made me numb.  Tons and tons of people were out. Holding their phone and some even shooting videos. I had never seen such crowd for a long time and there I was standing among hundreds. Its seems like just an hour and a half but there was destruction all around. Many building we crumbled. People we glued to their cell phone trying to connect with their dear ones. In an interval of those moments I too got a phone from my house too giving a little relief to the heart.

We still were unsure how to reach back home then my friend pointed today something. “Is Dharahara gone too? “  He said as we looked eagerly from Bus Park.  Our hearts grew heavy and from deep inside the respect for our heritage pour out. The Dharahara was no longer standing proud. This made us sit back for a few minutes.  No matter what we start walking. The mind was set to only command that we need to reach home, we need to reach home. The heat reflecting from the road has buried our feet add more difficulties and then there was a second aftershock.

As we walked down the Matighar there were few tourists. Their face was red, pale and blue. They were trying to cry but somehow tears were frozen. They were million miles away from home.  “May god give them little strength” I begged. The Matighar Mandela was packed with peoples. All of them standing above the garden trying to find strength among the crowd ......